Unlike most other epistles written by Paul, his letter to the Ephesians was not responding to a crisis. However, there was conflict.
Between “Gentiles … called uncircumcised” (2:11) and Jews who held “citizenship in Israel” (2:12) growing tensions of ethnic and cultural barriers were forming a “dividing wall of hostility” (2:14). Paul and these Christians put it all on the table. They discussed it humbly and biblically.
So this conflict resulted in a church “joined together” (2:21) as “God’s people” (2:19) because Jesus Christ made “the two groups one” (2:14).
“His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility” (Ephesians 2:15,16).
Conflict doesn’t need to die. Conflict is a gift from God when it is healthy conflict. What needs to die is hostile conflict, and Jesus kills it.
Paul writes, “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle …” (Ephesians 4:1,2). Paul doesn’t boast arrogantly about his authority as apostle. He engages humbly and leads gently as a prisoner.
His opponents put him in prison. That’s conflict. But Paul isn’t wasting time and energy attacking them. Instead he’s focusing on the conflict in a healthy way that doesn’t poison his soul:
Attack problems, not people. That’s our calling from Jesus himself. Gentle humility that holds us back from sins of selfish superiority or stubborn stereotypes.
So how should we deal with people when there’s conflict? “Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort …” (Ephesians 4:2,3). Be less efficient with people, and more effective. Be less effective with projects, and more efficient. Prioritize relationships over being right.
That takes “every effort” during conflict. Work on this, don’t just react to conflict with your feelings. Lead your feelings. Pause. Pray. “Be patient.” How patient?
Well, “bearing with one another” uses a Greek word that means “put up with each other.” It’s the same word Jesus uses in response to difficult people in conflict with him, “How long shall I put up with you” (Mark 9:19)?
This is a hard word, filled with conflict and difficulty. People are messy. Jesus knows that, it’s why he had to come down from heaven and die for us.
I wonder if his 33 years of living with some messy people was as difficult as a few hours of dying for all people? But Jesus did it. Why? “Love.”
Love doesn’t demand that others get it all together before you help them, or demand that they make it easier for you before you’re patient with them. “Put up with them,” Jesus says, “just like I put up with you.”
That’s love.
When there’s conflict, attack problems not people. Be patient with people.
PRAYER: Jesus, teach me to handle conflict in a holy and healthy way, and attack problems not people. Help me to be patient and even to put up with others with whom I’m experiencing conflict. Then, perhaps they will know your love through mine. Amen.
TAKE THE NEXT STEP: Our culture is addicted to hateful human conflict. How? Why? What do we have that is stronger than hate? Read and discuss https://hegetsus.com/en/articles/love-your-enemies
