Acting ugly toward others (giving the cold shoulder, ghosting, hyper criticism, etc.) is a form of vengeance that is your own protective mechanism, and it ends up being all about you.
No wonder Jesus once talked about someone sinning against us, and the first thing he said wasn’t about them, but about us. “Watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you … you must forgive them” (Luke 17:3,4).
I’ve counseled dozens and dozens of struggling marriages, and very, very rarely does the couple sit down with me and each of them says, “I’m so sorry. I’ve contributed to this mess. Can you forgive me and give me patient grace as I try harder?”
No. The urge is powerful and common for each of them to point fingers, blame, and distort the other person’s imperfections. It’s a human, not a divine, way to handle hurt.
But it is evil and it distorts a person’s view of Jesus, too. Making him into something he’s not.
Watch yourself. Watch your distortions of others. Ask Jesus in repentance to be himself with you, and to help you be his better, less distorted version of you that he has made you to be, and for you to see others as he sees them.
Love and forgive like a child. Like kindergarteners. I walked down the hallway of CrossLife Christian Academy this past week and Jesus was preaching to me about love and forgiveness through the words of the students. Hanging on the wall are hearts that say “Love is …” and each child has finished the statement, or also “Love looks like …” or “Love sounds like …”
They are just full of good theology! This is God’s truth and Jesus tells us to listen for the faith of these children.
“Love is being faithful, being loved back.” Love and forgiveness takes commitment. It’s not a feeling but a faithful trust in God and act of the will. And it’s a gift for both parties. Especially when there’s hugs.
“Love is a heart … giving.” Love and forgiveness aren’t conditional.
“Love tastes like marshmallows and is amazing.” Amazing grace how sweet the sound! If you’re feeling sour or hardhearted, love and forgiveness can do amazing things. Try it.
“Love sounds like music and is celebrating.” Love and forgiveness are pictured in Jesus’ parables of the lost coin, lost sheep and lost son. There’s joy and celebration. It’s that good!
“Love sounds like it’s a little difficult. Love is God.” Love and forgiveness is not simple or easy, and can be costly, sacrificial. But that’s who our God is. He’s not afraid of difficult, even impossible, things. Like loving you. And you don’t need to be either.
If children understand this—believe this—do you think you can, too?
PRAYER: God, I want my love to be amazing, sweet, and unconditional even when it’s difficult. Just like your love! Amen.
EVANGELISM ACTION: Share this with a friend who needs Jesus.
